You can't motorboat a personality
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
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It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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