put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize