Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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