Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize