butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
