I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
