I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize