If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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