What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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