This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize