she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
These tits shall not be calmed
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