my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize