Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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