So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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