So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
