the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
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It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?