Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.