Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I love how my cats smell like pot.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog