So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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