party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize