i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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