we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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