Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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