whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
