I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
