I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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