Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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