he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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