Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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