Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
