Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize