He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
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I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
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I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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