i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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