it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
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He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
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And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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