nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
