Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize