If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I can't turn off my feet"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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