There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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