But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
