hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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