I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I would ride that face into the sunset
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize