I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
how drunk are you?
Several
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
