the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
