let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize