Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
They took my balls.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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