Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
