Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize