i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
COCAINE IS GR8
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
