I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
