youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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