it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
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Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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