textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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